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Wednesday, November 10th, 2004
7:07 pm
To the water, rippling across the surface. An unsettled reflection staring in two. Of sky we are held above, beyond the extraneous. Let ship be your guide. For now we are down wind.

current mood: dorky

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Sunday, November 7th, 2004
6:59 pm
So it takes away to a place. displaced of mind. Twisted through time. Unwinding to find meaning to a reality. No gravity. Just a heart full of cavities. You curse me. dispurse your abusement without amusement. In tune with an utter hate. served on a plate written by fate.

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Sunday, October 31st, 2004
7:59 pm
god damn. drunk once again. i have only had 2 40s. Thats about equal to 6-7 beers. I sometimes wish i wouldnt get drunk every weekend. Just so i would remember what the fuck happens. Its halloween. I-I-I-I. Going to motha fuckin castro. I hope i make it because im drunk. Im surprised i can type right now cause god damn. The screen is pretty fuckin blurry. Im listening to Grouch and Eligh right now. Its good shit. I think ill make it to castro if someone guides me. Or else ill probably pass out on the MUNI. I still like the same girl. She told me she liked me. But she was drunk. I dont trust drunkness. She needs to be sober and tell me that then ill believe. But yes i dont know what elsee to type. I feel more drunk as i tyype. I think im going away now. But peace. and be in your place before you get erased from the map. Before i tap the planter in a real manner. Getting it on. That is all. I give love to sean, mitch, joey, joe, mitch, ben, nathan, jordan, jenna mason, polly, ildi, Of course my roommate kevin, michael jordan, peter, melissa, lauren, lauren #2, nicki, dani, and my family. i think thats about it.

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Saturday, October 30th, 2004
2:59 am
Last chance kid.. take it or leave it.

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Sunday, October 24th, 2004
3:05 am
So here we go. Another weekend here in SF. Tonight i went all over SF. and didn't really do much. WE went to the first party and it got broken up within 20 minutes. I was designated driver. Dont do it kids. it sucks. I ended up taking directions from all these drunk people to get to the next party who didn't know where they were going at all. These people are really cool. but drunk is drunk. So somehow we finally managed to get there. and to our amazement there was no one home. The TV was on. the lights were on. The door was unlocked and no one was there. So Andrew decides to open the door and walk inside to see if anything is going on in the backyard. Nope. So he comes out. As he starts walking towards the car he turns around and darts right back into the house. The rest of us are like w.t.f. mate. Andrew then comes running out of the house with a case of beers in his hand. So we didnt just break an entering. we now stole this person's beer. Oh well. Until the cops rolled up right as we were piling into the car. The cops say someone called about someone pissing in the bushes next to their house. Now who the fuck would call about something like that. Bitches. that goes to whoever called. So the cop asks who pissed near the persons house and we just said that we just rolled up. And he then said "so no ones gonna be a man and step up. I see how it is" then took our license and said he was going to write us up for being too loud.... After about 5 minutes he gives us our licenses back and then says we are banned from that area for the night. Now im pretty fuckin tired. And now for a freewrite.

Love life wind in the change
Creep to exfoliate entire beings who cried being processed by another layer of mind. Deep inside his inner thoughts. Above an unsanitary expidition to land that brings land. Alone we find the piece of a sign melted and capsuled to fit. A permanent situation into shape of the opening. Closed with an exhausted gasp of wind.
THe climax breached vibrating to its fullest extent. Yet again do the perished regain a sense of consciousness. Taking a glance towards a melting silence. The sun dripping gold into the sea and smearing the colors of the naked sky.

Go team.

current mood: not sure.

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Thursday, October 21st, 2004
2:42 am
My B-day has passed. It is now the 21st and im officially 18. Its almost 3 AM and im kind of tired now. I have alot of hw to do this week. but oh well.

Let live and never forget. Let strive and never regret. All the pain. to times of great restrain. Of wishing you were no more than a figment of my imagination. IN what way did you file a contemplation. As u fell further than my fist into respiration. Dying to retain the last drop of air. THe last breathe of moisture. Spare the time. Within a fine line. Caressing the better breath of another. Consufed two lovers face each other. Send single to the hand. And there she takes the final stand. OF passion we embrace with compassion. For the weakness and incompleteness of this system. Come to find wisdom. Numb to the open. Obvious. Envious control of all that lay down. Confounded by a bubble. Now bringing trouble. To a balanced plate. Of state has become a cold end.

That be all.

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Tuesday, October 19th, 2004
11:26 am
Hey whats up yall. Guess what tomorrow is. October 20th. Tomorrow at 10:50 PM it will be exactly 18 years since i was born. Boom!

So all i want for my b-day is money and sex. Oh yes. hah jp. but money would be nice. and the sex to.

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Tuesday, October 12th, 2004
12:08 pm
Team to scheme. Did I ever seem to be. Understand. I demand a plan. Plurals of right and wrong. Tell me why you think your so strong. Living up a class. shit out of your ass. This is too explicit of the implicit version. Where i can be the diversion. And he can be lover's surgeon. I am a man that is bounded. Founded by a band. Striving to make another stand. To hand the seat of power. of a rose petaled flower. YOu are the hour. Men are ruled by the pen. Fooled by the sword and given the award of anonymous. Instantaneous. Combustion back to a belated function. Of junction between brothers from another mother. Other than a passed blasting of faces. Erasing memories and all hidden fees. Pacing to enemies knowing I need another one of these. a monicle in the chronical. being so hypnotical.

Just to tell you all. im a rapper now. My rapper name is Billy Nasty. haha.

Fuck what a weekend. Friday was cool. Then saturday happened. Saturday night went back home got pretty fucked up. Passed out on Mafia's couch. good shit. So sunday rolls along. Mitch and i begin talking with my mom and i spill almost everything i have ever done since i was a freshman. Mitch is sitting there going oh shit. but i think my mom has a right to know. I felt bad everytime i ever lied to her. And she took it cool. She understands the world i have grown up in. When leaving windsor. I decided to pick up a hitch hiker. he was an irish lad. Then he rolled a blunt and we hot boxed my car. It was cool i guess just a new experience.
Also last night i had a soccer game - indoor - intramural. But i scored the winning goal 30 seconds left in the game. It was exciting. But someone did kick my knee and it is swollen. But vitory pain feels oh so good.

Last but not least. I am confused about a girl. Dont know whats going to happen. I do have feelings for her. Id give it a try. I havent had a relationship for somewhat of a long time. But oh well. I have bad luck with girls. It seems to work out at first and then blah.

-William Robert Wallace

current mood: eh you know...

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Saturday, October 9th, 2004
7:51 pm
It is a curse. One life, one love, one passion, once an opportunity. Justice is never settled. It is of an unspoken language. Of a constitution that never says what it means. One life of struggle, bombarded with the trials of survival. Beyond this may we find our one love. Our being to have and to hold. Live long enough and may you find your one passion. This shall be the fruit of such trials. Give our controllers the hell they deserve. Of a life embodied in a world where one love, one passion, is beyond our reach. If it were only true. Once an opportunity.

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7:43 pm
Of supersition speak of the loud. Let sound be a mentor. Guidance to another level. To the oblivion and on. This is the length and loyalty i present to you .To the end of the earth my true one. May we share the spoils and treasure of our adventures. It has come to point. And pointed in the direction that is not found on any compass. Somewhere beyond all that one can see. Up here alone with each other. We alone our the saviors of one another. Let time be our only chains. And may we never say that we never felt alive. Always know just what I am. Forever shall I know what we are.

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Wednesday, October 6th, 2004
3:35 pm
In the expanse there lay an obscure light. Twinkling softly. I am compelled to reach out. To forever hold myself in its brillance. The journey is treachorous. The lives we have lost already, the lives that are meant to be lost. I have found life to be a temporary circumstance. It is instantaneous, a blink of the eye, a mere second to the immortals. And not even the ones meant to live forever, last for all eternity. The end is the last moment we shall remember before darkness covers the last spectacle of light. But what of life. The instant we begin life is the very same moment life begins to end.

The universe stretches to the very end of the abyss. Is it never ending? IS there more than one dimension. Another me another you. Humans do not understand this reality. Or any reality for that matter. This universe did not just start from nothing. In our state of being. There is a start and then an end. Life seems to have started from nothing. A poof of smoke and then the universe begins. There is something more than what we see. I do not believe it is this God. But it is most definietly something. The answers I wish I knew. The moments that last forever. So few. hmmm...

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Wednesday, September 22nd, 2004
10:06 pm
whats up dawgs. it is butt. and butt it shall be. because butt is the source of all hilarity. it is the fruit that is something like green grapes. cause god damn i love green grapes.

to students and faculty may you understand the colloquy of my fine predisposition. thank you and later

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Tuesday, September 14th, 2004
11:12 pm - heylo
So the college life. It is fun, it can be crazy, but sometimes its just fucking gay. THe classes sometimes to me are considered a joke. The people are cool, but some try to form these little clicks from back in high school. which is like wtf man. I don't know what to say. I thought college was going to be a little better than this, but im trying to make the best of it. Im probably being quite pecimistic right now, mainly cause im in a bad mood. I bet if i was in a good mood it would all be good. But seriously some people have straight up ignored me, and frankly i truly feel like beating their face in. Its such disrespect. I cant stand people who think they are better.

I have friends here, and im constantly meeting new people everyday. But it is still not friends that i have known for years. There are a couple exceptions from here. But still joe, joey, mitch, sean, jeff, amanda, jenna.. god damn people. Its hard not to see your faces everyday. I like meeting new people, and experiencing new things, but its nice to keep the old friends to.
well i dont know what else to write. ill think of some more shit later.
over and out kids.

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Tuesday, September 7th, 2004
9:06 am
Here I sit about to go to Decision Science 110. Which is code named "Math Analysis For Business." Now this is basically a calculus class, god damn people I never even took trigonometry. Right now I feel like going back to sleep, but the one thing i do have is red shoes which make my feet stand out. i owe sean this honor.
On my quest for college I always heard that the first couple months of college are hard. It is true. Not just academically, but being away from friends and family. Living so close yet so far away. Trying to get used to these dorm rooms that are actually quite like prison cells. But at the moment i do have a room to myself. So i have a slightly larger prison cell.
All my god damn teachers put the hw on the internet and they make it fucking inaccessible. I couldn't even do my math hw. I emailed my teacher a few times and she never even emailed me back so im screwed on that one. Oh well.
So yes college is not all shits and giggles as you may have heard.
Ive been feeling pretty bad the last couple of days but not because of college but because of a girl. It is hard when you live over an hour away. Again i say it is close yet far. Well i am off to class and hopefully this feeling is only temporary.
-Thats all.

current mood: eh. you know.

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Thursday, August 26th, 2004
8:34 am
Interesting this college of mine. Its about 8:30 AM and i have class in another hour but i got up early for some reason. Im getting used to the showers. Yesterday wasnt too bad. I kept myself busy. Went to class ate food, crashed another class, chilled with lena, and then hung out with some people down the hall. THen jenna, jennie, and rachel came. They kind of came late so there wasnt much to do. Just sit there and talk for a little bit. But it was nice to have visitors so thank you.
Today i am coming home tonight. IM not sure what time yet. Cause i must got shopping today for textbooks and such. Plus i might be going to MOMA today to see the Matisse gallery and some other person that i forgot at the moment.
Im slowly starting to meet people so this is nice. Coming back this weekend and hanging with everyone shall be nice also. There is alot of people who want to hang out also. Ill try to get to everyone. but if not there is always another weekend or visiting me in SF. I can actually have people spend the night. MY roommate doesnt care and i wouldnt mind. So hoo haw for that. But i guess that is about it. Take it easy.
Over and out.

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Monday, August 23rd, 2004
9:30 am - hello
I have returned from my trip to hungary. Saying hello to friends has been awesome. I still have more to see. It does feel nice to be around people who speak english.

..And yet it is hard. I really did like it in hungary, it was quite hard for me at first and continued to be hard. But it was an experience i shall never forget. Ildi and i went through some challenging moments and i regret things i said. She is still an amazing person in my mind. It hurt saying good bye because it felt too final. I hate saying good bye to friends like that. We do live in two different worlds and we are both venturing off to college, in fact my college has pretty much started. Yesterday i walked through the college watching all my fellow freshmen getting out there big boxes and suitcases full of shit. While i had in hand a pillow, sheet, and blanket. Hah. I met my roommate. 'Connor O'hera. He seems like a good guy. His family is nice i had the honor of meeting his mother and sister. They didnt expect me to show up in fact. His piece of paper that was sent to him in the mail had the name 'Daniel Tracy' to be his roommate. Then i showed up they were probably all going wtf. Oh well. So this is the start of college. A new step in life. I still have no idea where i am going in this life of mine.

I miss staying with ildi and her family even though i couldnt speak a word to any of them except ildi. And i miss just seeing ildi. But there isnt much i can do about that. I am doing my best to have a good time. Cause this is what 'they' say to be the good times. There is alot more to say but i dont feel like typing anymore and u probably dont feel like reading anymore so.
Over and out.

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Friday, July 30th, 2004
10:06 am - Never Ending Story was a good movie.
Here i sit. An hour and a half before i leave for the airport. A journey that i shall remember for the rest of my life. Live and learn i say. But it will be more. This will be fucking awesome i hope. I havent been out of the US. for a fucking long ass time. IT is time to get the fuck out of here. THe US. eh its ok. But the fucking 21 drinking age. all these dumb rules and one of the dumbest governments i have ever seen exist in this country. We are the greatest 'they' say. The strongest military the strongest economy. Oh well i still want to get the fuck out. The ignorance has been too much for me to handle.

I am out. i will miss those who i care about. Wish me luck.
This seems to be all just a dream. But i pinched myself and it still hurts. so its all good :-).

fuck count = only 7. getting better

current mood: fucking excited as fuck.

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Wednesday, July 28th, 2004
9:15 pm - Hungary! Hoo raw mother fucker.
To the heavens. Far away from here. I am going. Yes i shall miss you all. People dont really understand my need to get away. I dont mean just out of windsor to SF. I mean out of here. away. Sometimes i feel trapped here. It isnt a good feeling. Now that i have the money it feels great that i actually can do it. It is going to be an awesome trip.. i hope. Im going to be staying with an awesome girl. i am pretty fuckin excited. I am ready now.

Today was my last day on the job. IF you think you have a hard job. if you think you are tired. Go to hell. You just dont know. really you dont know. The thing about this job that has really sucked. Is that it has been taking me away from my friends. Friends that i really care about. Its hard to be away 12 hours and then come back and say.. 'whats up you want to chill.. when you are about to collapse'. When i go to college. i am going to do my best to visit. But i better get some fuckin visitors when im at college. Well im pretty tired now and my eyes are blurry. i cant even really see the screen anymore.

If one could see so low. May he get stuck.
Good night and cya later.

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Saturday, July 17th, 2004
4:14 pm
Damn. work... work. work. and work. But it is something i have to do. It is the stepping stone that leads to a great leap. And i have found that money is the foundation on which we walk. Im saving up. It wont be long now.
But yes this last week i worked 58 hours. Who the fuck can top that. I doubt there are many people who can do the work i do anyways. Today i moved 5,000 pounds of concrete in bags that each way 100 lbs. I had to move them about 50 feet or so. By hand. God damn.. If i dont get muscles by the end of this thing. by all means. wow.

Well that is all for right now im tired and im off to get some food.

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Sunday, July 11th, 2004
12:22 am
If one ever started so soon
Than another paint his path bordered by nails
Cut ground so he may stumble
And watch the sky fall dark under a distant moon
Tremble to this quaking earth
It shakes with force which is that of our awakener

Take to hills and watch his presence
What light is that of such brilliance?
It shadows all with light that leaves no dark

A symphony of rays along the ground
The sweet melody of its aurora
That echoes through the endless dark matter
Letting us draw contour to its perfect circle

It is the essence that is us
The very atoms that create us both
We stand shocked as its endless bloom glides across our sky

To the time we have left may we always remember
The first image of the sun.

That is all. and all that will be until the time before the time after that.

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